How to Get Over Being Cheated On

Discovering infidelity can be devastating, leading to intense emotions and a challenging healing process.

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Discovering that you’ve been cheated on in a romantic relationship can be one of the most devastating experiences, often leaving you grappling with intense feelings of betrayal, anger, and confusion. The journey to healing from an emotional wound like cheating is deeply personal and varies significantly from one person to another. For some, it might involve a period of introspection and personal growth, while others may find solace in the support of friends, a therapist, or people on social media with similar experiences. 

The path to recovery is rarely linear, and what works for one person might not be suitable for another, so it’s important to find your own healing process. Keep reading to learn how to get over being cheated on, including tips for processing your emotions and rebuilding trust in any relationship. 

4 tips for how to get over being cheated on  

Getting over being cheated on will look different for everyone, but here are some tips to try on your healing journey. 

Process your emotions

Processing your emotions after discovering that you’ve been cheated on can be an overwhelming and challenging task. The initial shock and hurt over the cheating behavior can give way to feelings such as anger, sadness, confusion, and even self-doubt. It’s crucial to acknowledge and accept these emotions rather than suppressing them. Allow yourself to grieve the betrayal and the potential loss of trust. Journaling your feelings can be an effective way to understand and process what you’re going through. Writing down your thoughts provides a safe space to express your emotions and can offer insights into your healing process.

Seek support

One important recommendation is to seek support from trusted friends or family members. Talking about the conflict in your relationship with people who care about you can provide comfort and validation. They can offer different perspectives and remind you that you are not alone. If discussing the situation with friends or family feels too overwhelming, consider seeking professional help. A therapist can guide you through your emotions, help you develop coping strategies, and assist in rebuilding your self-esteem. Therapy offers a structured environment to work through complex feelings and can be particularly beneficial if the emotional fallout feels unmanageable on your own.

Make time for self-care

Another helpful strategy is to take time for self-care. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether it’s exercising, baking cookies, or spending time in nature. Physical activity, in particular, can be a powerful way to release pent-up emotions and improve your overall mood. Additionally, try to avoid making any major decisions immediately after discovering the infidelity. Give yourself the time and space needed to process your feelings fully before deciding on the future of your relationship.

Be kind to yourself

Lastly, remember to be kind to yourself. Healing from betrayal takes time, and it’s important to recognize that there is no right or wrong way to process your emotions. Allow yourself the grace to heal at your own pace and understand that recovery is a journey, not a destination.

Should we break up? How to decide what to do after cheating

Deciding whether to break up or stay together after infidelity is incredibly challenging and complex. The first step is to assess the circumstances surrounding the betrayal. Consider the nature and extent of the infidelity, whether it was a one-time affair or a pattern of behavior. Reflect on your partner’s level of remorse and their willingness to take responsibility for their actions. Genuine remorse and a commitment to change are critical if there’s any hope of rebuilding trust with a cheating partner. It’s also essential to consider your feelings and whether you can envision a future where you forgive your partner’s behavior and move forward without resentment.

Another crucial factor is the history and foundation of your relationship. If your relationship was strong and healthy before the infidelity, and both partners are willing to work on it, there might be a chance to repair the damage. Couples therapy can be a valuable resource in this process, providing a safe space to address issues, improve communication, and rebuild trust. However, if the relationship had underlying problems before the cheating occurred, it might be worth evaluating whether these issues can be resolved or if the infidelity is a symptom of deeper incompatibility. 

Ultimately, the decision to break up or stay together should prioritize your emotional well-being and future happiness. Staying in a relationship where trust cannot be restored can lead to prolonged pain and insecurity. Conversely, deciding to move on can be an opportunity for personal growth and finding a partner who respects and values you. If you choose to stay in a committed relationship, ensure it’s a decision based on hope and mutual commitment, not fear of being alone or societal pressure. Trust your instincts and make the choice that feels right for you, knowing that your feelings and needs are valid and deserve consideration. And remember, you don’t have to make these decisions alone — seek the support of friends or a therapist for more guidance. 

How to trust future partners after being cheated on

Learning to trust new partners after experiencing infidelity in a previous relationship can be a daunting task. The betrayal of trust often leaves deep emotional scars, making it difficult to open up to someone new. It’s essential to give yourself time to heal and process the affair before entering into a new relationship. Self-reflection and understanding the patterns and reasons behind the infidelity can help in addressing any lingering fears and insecurities. Engaging in individual or couples therapy can be particularly beneficial during this time, providing a structured environment to work through trust issues and rebuild your confidence.

When you do start a new relationship, open communication is key. Be honest with your new partner about your past experiences and how they may affect your emotional intimacy. A supportive and understanding partner will appreciate your honesty and be willing to take things at a pace that makes you feel comfortable. Establishing clear boundaries and expectations from the beginning can also help in building a foundation of trust. It’s important to remember that each person is different, and just because one person betrayed you doesn’t mean you won’t find a healthy relationship in the future.

Practicing patience with yourself and your new romantic partner is crucial. Trust doesn’t develop overnight; it’s a gradual process that requires time and consistency. Pay attention to your partner’s actions and words, and let their behavior over time demonstrate their trustworthiness. Celebrate small milestones and acknowledge the progress you’re making in learning to trust again. Additionally, engage in activities that foster trust and intimacy, such as sharing personal stories, spending quality time together, and supporting each other’s goals and interests.

Lastly, focus on building a strong, independent sense of self-worth. Trusting someone else becomes easier when you feel secure and confident in yourself. Engage in activities that make you happy, pursue your passions, and maintain a support network of friends and family. By reinforcing your own values and well-being, you can approach new relationships from a place of strength rather than fear. Trusting again after being cheated on is undoubtedly challenging, but with time, effort, and the right approach, it is entirely possible to find love and trust anew.

How Charlie Health can help

If you or a loved one are struggling with your mental health after being cheated on, Charlie Health is here to help. Charlie Health’s virtual Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) provides more than once-weekly mental health treatment for dealing with serious mental health conditions, including depression and anxiety. Our expert clinicians incorporate evidence-based therapies into individual counseling, family therapy, and group sessions. Fill out the form below or give us a call to start healing today.

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