Healing from Betrayal: How to Forgive and Trust Again

Healing from betrayal involves acknowledging pain, forgiving, and rebuilding trust through communication and personal growth.

Healing from betrayal is something so many of us may have to do at one time or another. Broken trust can mean a deep emotional injury that takes a long time and much work to heal. Finding healing and learning how to rebuild such trust is important for future relationships, personal growth, and with life. Below, we will consider healing from betrayal, signs of betrayal, the impact of betrayal trauma, and rebuilding trust.

How to heal from betrayal

Everyone’s healing journey is different, so finding what works best for you is important. If the betrayal has profoundly affected you, consider seeking professional help to guide you through the process. Here are some steps that might help:

1. Acknowledge your feelings

Allow yourself to feel the negative emotions that come with betrayal, such as anger, hurt, sadness, or confusion. It’s important not to suppress these negative emotions but to acknowledge and process them.

2. Seek support

Surround yourself with trusted individuals, family members, or a therapist who can provide a safe space to express your feelings and provide emotional support. Depending on the circumstances of the betrayal, couples therapy and individual therapy can provide valuable support and guidance in navigating the complexities of healing from betrayal.

3. Set boundaries

Establish boundaries to protect yourself from further harm. This might involve limiting contact with the person who betrayed you or re-evaluating the relationship.

4. Practice forgiveness (if possible)

Forgiveness can be a powerful tool for healing, but it’s important to note that forgiveness is a personal choice and doesn’t necessarily mean reconciliation. It’s about letting go of resentment for your peace of mind.

5. Give yourself time

Healing from betrayal takes time. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to heal at your own pace.

What are some signs that may indicate betrayal in a relationship?

While actions that depict betrayal may vary with different individuals and at different times, including in a romantic relationship or friendship, there are some telltale signs to look out for. Sudden changes in a person’s behavior or habits, unexplainably so, are major signs. The change may be characterized by increased secrecy over activities, sudden unavailability, or unexplained absence. A partner may even get overly defensive or evasive when they are questioned about their whereabouts or actions, which can actually be a red flag.

Another very common sign that foreshadows betrayal is rather obvious: emotional distancing and disengagement from one’s partner. While the realization may dawn on one that the partner has become distant, disengaged, or less interested in spending time together or talking about other personal matters, realize that the writing on the wall just got a little clearer: they are putting their emotional investment elsewhere. Changes in communication in terms of messages or calls, or not being open with their feelings and thoughts, may just indicate something. Since trust forms an essential part of romantic relationships, when any of the described signs emerge, one should bring them out in the open and talk honestly about them in order to find the cause and decide how to proceed further in the process of healing.

What are the psychological effects of betrayal trauma?

Trauma from betrayal can manifest in so many ways, including emotional responses to what happens when people or institutions we depend on for support and safety violate our trust or well-being. Examples of very strong feelings of the moment include shock, disbelief, anger, sadness, and confusion. People start to have problems trusting others, even those near them, due to the breach of trust they have had to suffer, which is hard to get over. This may further be continuous anxiety, hypervigilance, watchfulness, or intrusive thoughts and memories about the betrayal.

Psychologically, betrayal trauma could result in such effects as a lessening of one’s self-esteem, self-blame, and the loss of a sense of safety and security regarding relationships. Some people may experience symptoms like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which include nightmares, flashbacks, and avoidant behavior with respect to stimuli that remind them of the betrayal. Besides, it may alter one’s worldview and beliefs toward relationships—causing cynicism or problems in forming new bonds in the future.

One should find someone trustworthy—a friend, a member of the family, or a therapist—who can guide them through all those difficult emotions and pain one goes through. This will help in the processing of feelings, rebuilding trust, and healing.

How can you rebuild trust after someone has betrayed you?

Rebuilding trust after betrayal is a challenging but possible process that requires commitment and effort from both parties involved. Here are some steps that can help in rebuilding trust:

1. Practice open communication

Both people need to openly communicate their feelings, concerns, and perspectives without judgment. This includes discussing what happened, why it happened, and how it made each person feel.

2. Set expectations for accountability

The person who betrayed the trust must take responsibility for their actions, acknowledge the hurt they caused, and demonstrate genuine remorse. This may involve apologizing sincerely and being transparent about their intentions moving forward in the healing process.

3. Set boundaries and expectations

Clear boundaries and expectations should be set to prevent future misunderstandings or breaches of trust. Both parties should discuss what they need from each other to feel safe and secure in the relationship.

4. Have patience

Rebuilding trust takes time and patience. It is important to allow each other the space to heal and restore confidence in the relationship. Rushing the process can hinder progress in the healing journey.

How Charlie Health can help 

If you or a loved one are struggling with mental health, Charlie Health is here to help. Charlie Health’s virtual Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) provides more than once-weekly mental health treatment for dealing with serious mental health conditions. Our expert clinicians incorporate evidence-based therapies into individual counseling, family therapy, and group sessions. With treatment, managing your mental health is possible. Fill out the form below or give us a call to start healing today.