Why Do We Revert to Childlike Behaviors Under Stress?

Regression can lead to emotional, behavioral, and cognitive setbacks. Understanding its impact can help you develop healthier coping strategies.

Defense mechanisms play a crucial role in protecting our minds from distress, helping us navigate emotional turmoil and psychological conflict. One of the most well-known but often misunderstood defense mechanisms is regression—a tendency to revert to behaviors from an earlier developmental stage when faced with stress, anxiety, or internal conflict.

While regressive behavior can be a temporary and natural coping mechanism, it can also become problematic if it interferes with daily life and relationships. Read on to understand why it happens and how to manage it.

What is regression, and how does it show up in everyday life?

Regression is a psychological defense where an individual unconsciously reverts to behaviors, emotions, or thought patterns from an earlier stage of development when confronted with distress. However, it’s worth noting that occasional regression is not necessarily indicative of a mental health condition.

Regression can present itself in both mild and extreme ways. Here are some real-life scenarios where people unconsciously resort to regressive behavior:

• A high-performing executive procrastinates, binge-watches childhood cartoons, and eats comfort food to escape deadline stress
• When struggling with exams, a university student calls their parents nightly for reassurance, reverting to childhood comfort-seeking
• During an intense argument, one partner shuts down and gives the silent treatment, mirroring childhood reactions to discipline

Why does regression happen?

These reactions, though seemingly immature, are examples of psychological regression, a concept first explored by Sigmund Freud. Freud, the father of psychoanalytic theory, proposed that the ego—the part of our personality that mediates between desires and reality—relies on these psychological defense mechanisms to keep distressing thoughts and feelings at bay. Defenses such as humor or problem-solving are considered mature defense mechanisms; however, regression falls into the category of immature defenses because it relies on avoidance rather than adaptation.

Modern research expands on Freud’s ideas, showing that regression can be both adaptive and maladaptive, depending on how frequently it occurs. Studies published by the American Psychological Association suggest that occasional regression can provide temporary relief,whereas chronic regression—especially in response to long-term stress or trauma—may be linked to emotional dysregulation, avoidance behaviors, and personality disorders.

While regressive behavior is often triggered by stressful life events or trauma, it can be linked with underlying mental health conditions, including personality disorders. For example, someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD) may exhibit acting-out behaviors in moments of emotional distress. While occasional regression is normal, frequent regressive behavior can indicate deeper psychological issues.

The impact of regression on mental health and relationships

Chronic regression can lead to stress, anxiety, and emotional instability, making it harder to manage adult responsibilities. Immature defenses can also impact relationships—partners, friends, and family may struggle with the emotional burden of a loved one’s regression. Caregivers of people struggling with borderline personality disorder or other personality disorders, for example, may find themselves in exhausting cycles of reassurance, caretaking, or boundary-setting. Over time, this can strain relationships, leading to emotional burnout for both parties.

How to manage and overcome regression

Overcoming regressive behavior starts with self-awareness and intentional efforts to develop healthier coping strategies. 

Recognizing when regression happens

The first step in managing regression is self-awareness. Identifying when and why it occurs can help uncover the underlying stress, anxiety, or emotional triggers. Recognizing patterns—such as withdrawing, acting out, or seeking excessive reassurance—allows people to respond more mindfully rather than defaulting to psychological regression.

Building healthier coping mechanisms

Once regression is recognized, developing healthier coping strategies is essential for emotional growth. Practicing mindfulness, journaling, or engaging in grounding exercises can help regulate emotions without resorting to immature defenses. Seeking support from trusted friends, family, or a therapist can provide reassurance while encouraging emotional independence. For people struggling with frequent regressive behavior, therapeutic approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) can help address deeper emotional conflicts and teach effective stress management techniques. Over time, with consistent effort, it becomes easier to navigate challenges without reverting to past behaviors.

How Charlie Health can help

Regression is a common defense mechanism, but it can take a toll on your mental health. If you or a loved one are struggling, Charlie Health is here to help. Charlie Health’s virtual Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) provides mental health treatment for people dealing with serious mental health conditions, including anxiety, depression, trauma, and more. Our expert clinicians incorporate evidence-based therapies into individual counseling, family therapy, and group sessions. With support, managing your mental health and developing healthier coping mechanisms is possible. Fill out the form below or give us a call to start healing today.