Attachment-Based Therapy Can Help You Build Healthier Relationships

Attachment-based therapy explores how early relationships shape emotional and relational patterns, helping people heal from past trauma, build trust, and form healthier connections.

Learn more about our Clinical Review Process

Attachment-based therapy focuses on understanding how early relationships shape emotional well-being and relational patterns. By addressing attachment issues from childhood, this therapeutic approach helps resolve emotional challenges and improve relationships. It is particularly effective for those dealing with relational difficulties, trauma, or emotional dysregulation. Read on to learn more about attachment theory, how attachment-based therapy works, and who it can help. 

What is attachment theory?

Attachment theory, pioneered by John Bowlby and later expanded by Mary Ainsworth, examines how early relationships with a caregiver influence our emotional and relational patterns throughout life. Bowlby highlighted the importance of attachment as a biological need for security, while Ainsworth identified four attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized. These styles form in childhood and continue to shape how we relate to others and manage emotional connections into adulthood, providing a framework for understanding relational challenges and guiding therapeutic work.

Secure attachment

People with a secure attachment style feel confident in forming close relationships and trusting others. They are comfortable with intimacy, rely on others for support when needed, and provide the same for their loved ones. While people with secure attachments are comfortable leaning on their supports and letting their supports lean on them, they are also comfortable being alone.

Anxious attachment

Individuals with an anxious attachment style often fear abandonment and seek constant reassurance in relationships. They may struggle with emotional regulation, feeling insecure or overly dependent on their partners. They are often worried loved ones aren’t as invested in relationships as they are and have a negative self view, but a positive view of others, causing them to feel like their partner is “better” than they are, as if they are less worthy of love.

Avoidant attachment

Avoidant attachment is characterized by a reluctance to rely on others or become emotionally close. They often have a positive self view and negative view of others. These individuals value independence and may withdraw when relationships require vulnerability or emotional intimacy.

Disorganized attachment

People with a disorganized attachment style often exhibit conflicting behaviors, desiring connection while fearing intimacy — people with this attachment style want closeness to others, but struggle with depending on others. This style is usually rooted in inconsistent or traumatic early experiences, leading to challenges in trust and emotional regulation.

What is attachment-based therapy?

A therapist using attachment-based therapy aims to repair the impact of early attachment experiences by focusing on three core principles: repairing relationships, building trust, and revisiting past experiences.

Repairing relationships

This principle involves strengthening connections with oneself and others. Many people struggle with relational patterns shaped by early attachment wounds, such as difficulty trusting others or fear of intimacy. Therapists help clients identify and challenge these patterns, promoting healthier interactions. Repairing relationships also includes fostering self-compassion and addressing self-critical beliefs that stem from unmet emotional needs in childhood. 

Building trust 

Therapists work to create a secure therapeutic environment where clients feel supported and understood. This process involves consistent empathy, active listening, and validation, which help clients develop confidence in their ability to form trusting relationships. Over time, the therapist-client relationship serves as a model for rebuilding trust in other areas of the client’s life.

Revisiting past experiences 

Understanding how past experiences influence current behaviors is a key component of attachment-based therapy. Therapists guide clients in exploring their early relationships and identifying patterns that may have contributed to emotional struggles or relational difficulties. This often includes revisiting painful memories or unresolved traumas in a supportive setting.  Therapists also help clients “re-parent” their inner child, and attend to the needs that were left unmet as a child. By reprocessing these experiences, clients can release lingering emotional pain and gain insight into how their past shapes their present. 

How attachment therapy works

Attachment-based therapy employs several techniques to foster self-awareness, emotional growth, and healthier connections, including:

• Establishing a safe therapeutic relationship where clients can express vulnerability without judgment.
• Reflecting on childhood attachment experiences to understand their impact on current behaviors and emotions.
• Enhancing emotional regulation through skills that help clients manage and process emotions.
• Addressing unresolved trauma to reduce its influence on self-perception and relationships.

Who can attachment therapy help

Attachment-based therapy is particularly beneficial for those struggling with anxiety, depression, trauma, relationship challenges, and attachment disorders like reactive attachment disorder (RAD). Additionally, it supports parents seeking to foster secure attachments with their children and can assist individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD) or addiction by addressing attachment-related challenges. A therapist specializing in family therapy or attachment-based psychotherapy will use this approach to help a caregiver address attachment-related challenges and foster secure relationships within the family. Clients often experience stronger, more meaningful relationships, better emotional regulation, and healing from past relational trauma. 

Research suggests combining attachment-based therapy with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) may lead to improved outcomes for adolescents who have not responded well to CBT alone in the past. By addressing deep-seated emotional wounds, they gain personal resilience and the ability to approach other types of therapy more effectively. 

How Charlie Health Can Help

If you or a loved one are struggling with your mental health and want to try attachment-based therapy, Charlie Health is here to help. Charlie Health’s virtual Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) provides mental health treatment for people dealing with serious mental health conditions, including anxiety, depression, and more. Our expert clinicians incorporate evidence-based therapies into individual counseling, family therapy, and group sessions. With support, managing your mental health is possible. Fill out the form below or give us a call to start healing today.