How Narcissism Changes With Age, According to Therapists

Narcissism exists on a spectrum and varies from person to person, but experts have found some trends about how the condition changes over time.

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Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a complex condition that can differ from one person to another—and even shift within the same person over time. As people age, the way narcissism shows up may change significantly, or it may diminish altogether. So, the big question is: does narcissism get worse with age? Like all disorders, there are no hard and fast rules for how narcissism will develop over time, but here are the trends that researchers and mental health experts have noted when it comes to aging and narcissistic traits.

Does narcissism get worse with age?

We asked experts: Does narcissism get worse with age, stay the same, or even improve? In short, they told us that narcissism can change tremendously throughout a person’s life. “Age can impact narcissism, and how it changes depends on the individual,” says Charlie Health Group Facilitator Chris Hinton, MS, M.Ed., LPC, CLC, CTP. “Some narcissists become worse over time, while others mellow due to life experiences, loss of power, or self-awareness.” 

Here are some common ways narcissism changes as people age:

Narcissism in younger people

Early adulthood is often — but not always — when narcissism presents most strongly. As Hinton puts it, “Narcissistic traits are more common in youth due to natural self-focus and identity formation. Young narcissists often thrive on charm, ambition, and social validation.”

Charlie Health Contemplative Practitioner Tairesha “Sunflower” Flemister, LMSW, seconds that, saying it’s often “driven by a desire for status, relationships, and material success.” However, a medical professional, family member or anyone else in their social circle must be careful not to assume that common traits in young adults necessitate an NPD diagnosis. The proper care, communication, and understanding can provide young people and those of an older age with the care they need for NPD, another mental health condition, or dealing with the many stresses of life. 

Narcissism in older people

In some cases, a person’s narcissistic tendencies can shrink. “It’s important to stress that there is some research that shows narcissism will mellow with age but will not completely go away,” says Charlie Health Group Facilitator Nicole Lonano, MS. 

One publication from the American Psychological Association (APA) looked at 51 studies that were, in total, composed of over 37,000 individuals from ages eight to 77. The evidence showed that narcissism tended to decrease with age, especially for individuals exhibiting antagonistic or neurotic narcissism. Researchers also saw a decrease in symptoms for those living with agentic narcissism tendencies, but to a lesser extent. 

However, the reviewed studies also showed that individuals tended to maintain the same level of narcissism relative to their peers. So, even if a person’s narcissism presentations decreased, they were typically still exhibiting these signs more than another adult — even when looked at across substantial periods. 

Signs of narcissism to look out for as people age 

While narcissism can look different at various life stages, certain patterns tend to emerge over time. Below are some common signs of narcissism to look out for:

• An exaggerated sense of self-importance
• A need for excessive admiration
• Constantly seeks praise and validation
• Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
• Manipulative and controlling behavior, using charm or deception to get their way
• Exhibit exploitation in relationships and use others for personal gain
• Display jealousy and extreme competitiveness 
• Show arrogance and haughtiness, looking down on others
• An expectation to be recognized as superior

One of the most critical aspects to remember about narcissism is that it’s “a spectrum, meaning that not everyone who exhibits narcissistic traits has narcissistic personality disorder,” says Flemister. “It’s important to differentiate between someone who may occasionally display narcissistic behaviors and someone whose narcissism is deeply ingrained and damaging to relationships.” 

According to the APA report, a medical professional might diagnose a person with NPD “only when these traits are inflexible, maladaptive, and persisting and cause significant functional impairment or subjective distress.”

How Charlie Health can help

If you or a loved one are struggling with signs of narcissistic personality disorder or narcissistic traits, Charlie Health can help. Charlie Health’s virtual behavioral health treatment programs offer support for people dealing with conditions like personality disorders, substance use disorders, depression, and more. Our expert clinicians incorporate evidence-based therapies into individual counseling, family therapy, and group sessions. With this kind of holistic treatment, managing your well-being is possible. Fill out the form below or give us a call to start healing today.