Golden Child Syndrome Could Be Hurting Your Mental Health

While not an official mental health condition, golden child syndrome is a dynamic that can impact peoples’ mental health and familial relationships.

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Every family dynamic is different, and in some households, one child is consistently favored or idealized by a parent or caregiver — a dynamic known as “golden child syndrome.” This child is often seen as the “perfect” one who can do no wrong and is held to a higher standard than their siblings. The golden child is expected to meet parental expectations, often at the cost of their own emotional and personal needs. While not an official mental health condition, golden child syndrome can lead to long-term psychological effects for both the favored child and their siblings, including feelings of inadequacy, guilt, or difficulty setting boundaries. Below, we dig into common signs of golden child syndrome, its link to narcissism, and treatment methods. 

Signs of golden child syndrome

Golden child syndrome manifests in various behavioral and emotional patterns within the family. These signs not only affect the golden child but also have lasting impacts on the entire family system, often creating emotional and psychological strain for everyone involved. Some key signs of golden child syndrome are as follows.

1. Constant praise and favoritism

The golden child is frequently praised and complimented, even for minor accomplishments, while their siblings’ achievements may go unnoticed or unacknowledged. This constant favoritism can create an imbalance in the family dynamic.

2. Unrealistic expectations

Parents often hold the golden child to exceptionally high standards, expecting perfection in academics, sports, or social behavior. The child may feel immense pressure to live up to these expectations, sacrificing their own desires or well-being to meet parental approval.

3. Overprotection and special treatment

The golden child may be overprotected by their parents, and shielded from criticism or consequences, while siblings are held accountable for their mistakes. This preferential treatment fosters a sense of entitlement and may hinder the golden child’s ability to handle adversity.

4. Sibling rivalry and resentment

The golden child dynamic often leads to tension between siblings. Other children may feel neglected, develop resentment toward the favored sibling, or experience lower self-esteem as a result of being compared unfavorably.

5. Emotional burden

The golden child may internalize their role, becoming overly responsible for the family’s emotional well-being. They might feel obligated to maintain harmony or meet all parental expectations, leading to burnout, stress, or difficulty setting boundaries in relationships.

Parenting styles and golden child syndrome

The development of golden child syndrome is often closely tied to specific parenting styles, especially those that involve overparenting or unrealistic expectations. Parents who adopt an authoritarian or perfectionist approach, where strict control and high standards are enforced, may inadvertently create a golden child by placing one child on a pedestal. This dynamic can also arise from permissive or indulgent parenting, where a child is given special privileges and is overly protected, leading them to believe they are superior to their siblings. Overparenting, in particular, can also play a key role in fostering golden child syndrome. This parenting style involves excessive involvement in a child’s life, shielding them from failure or consequences, and constantly reinforcing their “special” status. 

How golden child syndrome impacts a golden child

As discussed, golden child syndrome places immense pressure on the favored child to maintain an image of perfection, which can deeply affect their mental health and self-esteem. Constantly living under the expectation to excel in all areas, the golden child may struggle with feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and burnout. They are often forced to suppress their own emotions and desires to meet parental demands, which can lead to internal conflict and a lack of personal identity. This dynamic fosters perfectionism, where the golden child feels that their value is tied solely to their achievements. Over time, this can erode their self-esteem, making them overly dependent on external validation.

In the long term, being the golden child can have serious psychological effects. Some individuals may develop narcissistic tendencies, as they grow accustomed to being praised and idealized without facing criticism or consequences. The constant reinforcement of their superiority may lead to entitlement, difficulty empathizing with others, and challenges in forming healthy relationships. Alternatively, others may experience anxiety, depression, or difficulty setting boundaries, as they feel trapped by the need to meet unrealistic standards. 

Narcissism and golden child syndrome 

Narcissism and golden child syndrome are interconnected, as the dynamics of favoritism can significantly influence the development of narcissistic traits in favored children. Research indicates that parenting styles play a crucial role in shaping these outcomes, particularly when negative traits like exploitativeness are involved. Golden children, who are often idealized and held to unrealistic standards by their parents, may be at heightened risk for developing narcissism. 

The constant emphasis on achievement and the lack of critical feedback can foster entitlement and an inflated sense of self-worth, leading to difficulties in empathy and healthy relationships. This creates a cycle where the golden child’s self-perception is heavily tied to their parental validation, further entrenching narcissistic tendencies. However, it’s worth noting that not all golden children will develop narcissistic traits, and that narcissistic personality disorder and is a mental health condition that requires diagnosis my a trained professional. 

How golden child syndrome impacts siblings and family dynamics 

Golden child syndrome can significantly disrupt family dynamics, creating an environment rife with sibling rivalry and emotional imbalance. The favoritism shown toward one child often leads to negative psychological effects on their siblings, manifesting in various ways into adulthood, research shows. Siblings of a golden child may experiences:

• Low self-esteem as siblings may feel inferior to the golden child
• Identity issues stemming from a lack of attention and validation 
• Emotional distancing due to favoritism 
• Family rifts, including resentment towards the parents and favored sibling 

How to treat golden child syndrome

Golden child syndrome can create significant emotional and relational challenges within families. To effectively treat and address this issue, various approaches can be employed to foster healthier dynamics that promote emotional intelligence, resilience, and equitable relationships among all children. Here are several strategies to focus on:

1. Parent mindfully

Parents must become aware of their own biases and recognize the impact of favoritism on their children. Reflecting on their parenting styles can help them identify patterns that may contribute to the golden child dynamic.

It’s important that parents ensure that all children receive equal amounts of time, attention, and praise. This practice helps foster an environment of support and reduces competition among siblings. Celebrate each child’s unique strengths and qualities, reinforcing that their worth is not solely tied to achievements. By promoting individuality, parents can help each child feel valued in their own right.

2. Foster emotional intelligence

Encourage children to express their emotions and feelings in a safe environment. Validating each child’s experiences helps build emotional intelligence and resilience. Incorporate activities that foster empathy among siblings, such as collaborative projects or family discussions about feelings. This helps siblings understand and appreciate each other’s perspectives. Also, families can shift the focus from perfectionism to effort and resilience. Celebrate attempts and progress rather than just outcomes, allowing all children to feel competent and valued.

3. Implement activities that foster positive family dynamics

Involve all children in group activities that require teamwork, fostering cooperation rather than competition. These shared experiences can help strengthen sibling relationships. One such example is establishing weekly family meetings, which can promote open communication and allow each child to share their achievements and challenges. This practice helps reinforce the idea that every family member’s voice matters.

Parents should model healthy emotional responses and relationships within the family. Demonstrating how to handle conflict, express love, and show appreciation can guide children in developing their interpersonal skills.

4. Seek professional support

If challenges persist, seeking help from a family therapist can provide tailored strategies and support for overcoming the effects of golden child syndrome. Engaging in family system therapy can help families explore the dynamics that contribute to golden child syndrome. This therapeutic approach encourages open dialogue, enabling family members to voice their feelings and concerns.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can also assist both the golden child and their siblings in addressing issues related to self-esteem, anxiety, and perfectionism. By identifying negative thought patterns, children can develop healthier self-perceptions.

How Charlie Health can help 

If your family is struggling with golden child syndrome, Charlie Health is here to help. Charlie Health’s virtual Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) provides more than once-weekly mental health treatment for young people and families dealing with serious mental health conditions, including challenging family dynamics. Our expert clinicians incorporate evidence-based therapies into individual counseling, family therapy, and group sessions. With this kind of holistic treatment, managing your family’s mental health is possible. Fill out the form below or give us a call to start healing today.