What to Do When You’re Feeling Lost, According to Therapists

Learn about feeling lost and how to cope with it.

Learn more about our Clinical Review Process

Everyone feels a bit lost at one point or another. The disorientation can come alongside life changes and bring anxiety, uncertainty, and a need for purpose. Experiencing loss as a persistent feeling can create emotional turmoil, leaving you with adverse mental health.

But being lost is part of the human experience. “Feeling lost isn’t a failure. It is normal and often a sign that something needs attention or to realign with your values,” says Charlie Health Licensed Creative Arts Therapist Courtney Way, MA, LCAT. Many people feel this way multiple times across a lifetime, and it can be a meaningful starting point rather than an ending.”

There are many things that can bring a sense of loss, but you can also take many other actions to overcome it. As Charlie Health Group Facilitator Bree Williams, LPCA, says, “Many people find their most meaningful chapters emerge after periods of confusion or discomfort.” Read on to learn about common triggers for feeling lost and evidence-based strategies to help you rediscover your sense of direction.

What can cause you to feel lost?

Feeling lost is rarely the result of a single event; instead, it is often the cumulative effect of internal pressures and external shifts. Understanding the specific root of your disorientation is the first step toward regaining your footing.

According to our clinical experts, here are five common reasons you may be feeling this way:

1. Engaging in comparison

Comparing yourself to another person is never going to make you feel better. Doing this can lead to you feeling lost in life, says Way.

2. Experiencing life transitions

Big changes can be incredibly disorienting, whether it’s a graduation, a change in career, a breakup, a loss of a loved one, or a myriad of other transitions. Each of these things has the potential to disorient you and make you feel lost, says Way.

3. Falling behind on your “plan”

You might not be where you thought you should be, or you might not have followed an exact plan. While that’s more than okay, Way explains that it can still make you feel lost.

4. Disconnecting from yourself

As Way explains, you might find that you’re living according to someone else’s plan or ideals. This disconnect from what you want can create a sense of loss.

5. Lacking direction

You might not currently have clear goals or feel a sense of purpose in what you do. This lack of direction can make you feel lost, says  Charlie Health Group Facilitator Nicole Lonano, MS.

How feeling lost can change over time

A sense of being lost can look and feel very different throughout your lifetime. Feeling lost in your 20s or 30s might come after finally losing the structure of school and typically “centers on identity, career, and belonging,” says Way.

As you get older, there’s, of course, the well-known midlife crisis, which can involve you reevaluating your choices, dealing with physical changes, or experiencing career stagnation, says Lonano. Furthermore, as time goes on, Williams notes that retirement, grief, and additional factors can contribute to feeling lost.

The link between mental health conditions and feeling lost

Adverse mental health can leave you feeling untethered, lost, and misunderstood. In one respect, you might feel like you can’t relate to other people or feel isolated by your personal experience. On top of that, mental health symptoms on their own can deeply contribute to a sense of loss. According to Williams, mental and behavioral health conditions that can make you feel more lost include:

• Anxiety: It can create decision paralysis, leaving you stuck in fear of choosing ‘wrong’
• Depression: It can drain motivation and hope, making the future feel empty or pointless
• Trauma: It can disconnect you from your sense of self, values, or safety in the world
• Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD): It can contribute to feeling scattered or behind in life

Similarly, Williams adds that experiencing grief can contribute to feeling lost, as it can “temporarily strip life of meaning altogether.”

Feeling lost can also lead to adverse mental health symptoms or disorders. As Lonano explains, feeling lost can impact your mental health in ways such as:

• Reduced self-worth: You might feel like you’ve lost your confidence, view the future negatively, or even have self-hatred
• Social isolation: When you feel lost, you might begin to pull away from loved ones and social activities, adding to your sense of uncertainty and creating greater loneliness
• Loss of motivation: Similarly, if you’re unclear about your direction, then it might reduce how much time you spend being productive, doing hobbies, or even motivating to complete previously enjoyable daily activities.

Williams sums up this experience: “Feeling chronically lost can worsen mental health by increasing shame, self-doubt, and emotional exhaustion.”

What to do when feeling lost in life

So, if you’re feeling this way, the next step is knowing how to stop feeling lost. “You don’t need a five-year plan to move forward; you just need permission to explore, reflect, and evolve,” says Williams. “Being lost can be the beginning of becoming more honest, more grounded, and more aligned with who you truly are.”  Here are some steps you can take to cope with feeling lost in life.

1. Reflect on what matters to you

Are you living your life for you or by someone else’s guidance? Take the time to think about what matters to you versus what’s expected of you, says Way.

2. Be curious

You don’t need to know everything, no matter how much it may feel like you do. Instead, try to be open to the world. “Allowing curiosity instead of urgency can also ease the weight of ‘figuring it all out,’” says Williams.

3. Move your body

As Lonano puts it, “Movement often precedes motivation.” Even just taking a walk, doing some tidying, or going to a workout class can make you feel less lost. Progress can just be seeing the trees pass by you as you find yourself again.

4. Explore your identity

The experts recommend grounding yourself in who you are and what you want through practices such as journaling, meditation, art, and other creative practices.

5. Create a routine

Give your days a sense of order and stability with a routine. Lonano recommends incorporating consistent sleep times, eating healthy meals, and setting aside time for self-care.

6. Limit comparison

President Theodore Roosevelt reportedly said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Williams stresses the importance of limiting comparison to other people as much as you can. Doing this might mean muting someone on social media or taking time away from someone who makes you feel worse about your accomplishments.

7. Set small short-term goals

You simply do not need to have everything figured out. Give yourself grace and focus on short-term goals that feel both reachable and low lift, says Way. It could be something like reaching out to an old coworker or taking a half hour a week to purposely do something you enjoy.

8. Lean on supports

You might feel isolated or lost, but there are people who are not only willing, but want to help you. Lean on supportive relationships in your life, even if it’s taking time to get a cup of coffee or going for a walk together, says Way.

Lonano adds that therapy can provide a tremendous tool for reconnecting with yourself and figuring out what you want moving forward. It can also provide an avenue for coping with any mental health symptoms that might be adding to your negative thoughts and sense of loss.

How Charlie Health can help

If you or a loved one are struggling with feeling lost or depressed, Charlie Health is here to help. Charlie Health’s virtual Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) provides more than once-weekly mental health treatment for dealing with serious mental health conditions, including depression, trauma, and more. Our expert clinicians incorporate evidence-based therapies into individual counseling, family therapy, and group sessions. With treatment, managing your well-being is possible. Fill out the form below or give us a call to start healing today.