How to Help Your Teen Living With Anxiety

Five actionable, therapist-approved steps you can take if your teen is experiencing depression.

Learn more about our Clinical Review Process

Being a teenager is challenging in so many ways, and while young people often crave independence at this age, they still typically require support from the adults around them. This is particularly true when an adolescent is experiencing poor mental health, such as intense worry, fear, or other anxiety symptoms — which over one in five adolescents struggle with, according to a national survey.

If you’re a parent or guardian watching the young person in your life struggle with anxiety, you’re likely wondering one thing: how to help them. The good news is there are actually many ways to help your teen navigate and cope with anxiety if you’re able to practice active listening and empathy while refraining from judgment or dismissal.  

Whether you believe your teen is experiencing generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, separation anxiety disorder, or another anxiety disorder, there are so many ways you can help them. Here’s what you need to know about anxiety and how to help your teen through it. 

How to talk to your teen about anxiety 

Excessive fear, worry, and panic are all signs of anxiety disorders — so if you notice that a young person in your life is coping with these symptoms, it’s important to discuss it with them. The key here is how and when you do so. It’s critical that you are non-judgemental and non-reactive during this conversation. “Anxiety can often create a lot of self-doubt and fear, particularly of judgment, and because of that, meeting them with a validating, reassuring, and empathetic manner is incredibly valuable,” says Charlie Health Senior Primary Therapist Sarah Lyter. “Approach your child about this and simply ask them if and how they’re struggling.”

In this vein, Lyter explains the importance of letting your child speak for themselves and feel in control of the conversation. Just because they acknowledge that you were right in suspecting they are experiencing anxiety doesn’t mean you should openly pat yourself on the back or assume you completely understand what they’re going through. Stay curious about and invite them to explain how living with anxiety has manifested for them. “They are the expert on their thoughts, feelings, and experiences, so empower them by trying to gain an understanding of what they’re going through,” she says. 

Their acknowledgment of anxiety symptoms isn’t the end of their contribution. They should feel they have autonomy and that their feelings and opinions matter. Lyter stresses the importance of involving them in the process of taking the next steps and seeking care. 

It’s also important when you choose to have this conversation, says Lyter. Instead of approaching them the second they come home from a long school day, look for a time when they appear open to having an honest discussion, and there’s privacy for the two of you to do so. 

What to do if your teen says they’re experiencing anxiety

One of the most important things you can do if the young person in your life approaches you is praise and validate them — don’t brush off their experience as just “teenage anxiety” that will go away on its own. “Speaking about anxiety can be very scary and can actually exacerbate symptoms, so demonstrating that you appreciate their vulnerability and honesty is an essential first step,” says Lyter. Part of this — as would be the case if you approached them — is to maintain a safe, non-judgmental, and calm space that allows for stress management. This outward attitude can give them the calm to tell you exactly how they feel and rely on you in the future. 

Furthermore, stay interested and engaged with what they have to say. Once again, they should control the conversation, knowing they have your support in navigating this. You can offer to help them find professional help like therapy, but keep them involved unless they ask you to do everything for them. “They will be the ones going through treatment, so allow them to explore and decide upon treatment options with you to foster and support their autonomy and sense of control within their lives,” explains Lyter. Maybe they want to see someone in person, or perhaps they’d like to pursue online therapy — only they can answer that question.  

When to step in if your child is experiencing anxiety

As we discussed, letting your teen have as much autonomy during this as possible is critical. However, there are some instances in which you will need to step in and take the reins. This case will often be when your teen is exhibiting severe symptoms but will not engage in care of their own accord. According to Lyter, signs you need to step in if your teen is experiencing anxiety include the following: 

• They are unable to function in their daily life, such as missing school or struggling to leave the house
• They become panicked and dysregulated often
• They aren’t taking care of themselves
• They display multiple symptoms of anxiety regularly and will not engage in care  
• They are in crisis, and their safety is at risk, such as harming themselves or experiencing suicidality  

Remember: If you or a loved one are experiencing suicidal thoughts or are in danger of harming yourself, this is a mental health emergency. Contact The Suicide & Crisis Lifeline 24/7 by calling or texting 988.

Lyter stresses that there are still ways you can try to include your teen, even if you have to go against their wishes. “Give them choices that they can select from, rather than selecting treatment for them,” she says. “Ask them what type of treatment they think would be best for them, even if they don’t necessarily want to attend. Do your best to respect their wishes, autonomy, and desires whenever possible.”

Teen anxiety treatment at Charlie Health 

If your teen is struggling with anxiety symptoms or an anxiety disorder, Charlie Health is here to help. Charlie Health’s virtual Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) provides more than once-weekly mental health treatment for young people and families dealing with serious mental health conditions, including panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and more. Our expert clinicians incorporate evidence-based therapies into individual counseling, family therapy, and group sessions. With this kind of holistic online therapy, managing anxiety is possible. Fill out the form below or give us a call to start healing today.