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Communal Narcissism Explained: How to Spot It and What to Do About It
Written By: Alex Bachert, MPH
Clinically Reviewed By: Meghan Jensen
October 1, 2024
5 min.
Communal narcissists may appear caring but are often motivated by a desire for admiration and validation. Here are tips for identifying manipulative behavior and prioritizing your own well-being.
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People with narcissistic tendencies often have an inflated sense of self-importance. They’re known to ignore other people’s feelings and boundaries and look for ways to benefit from specific situations. But narcissism isn’t always easy to spot. For example, people who are communal narcissists may come off as caring and community-oriented even though their behaviors are motivated by a personal need for validation and admiration. Read on to learn more about common signs of communal narcissism, tips for identifying manipulative behavior, and treatment for this condition.
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What is communal narcissism?
“Communal narcissism is a form of narcissism during which the person engages in what appears to be altruistic behavior. This person views themselves as an exceptionally caring, helpful person, however, their behavior is motivated by self-interest and need for admiration,” says Sarah Lyter, Clinical Supervisor, LCPC, with Charlie Health. “This person may emphasize the role they play to help others, expect recognition for being helpful, and may feel superior to others.”
People with communal narcissism use communal means to meet their personal needs, research shows. One example is the coworker who takes credit for other people’s accomplishments. You may also see communal narcissists at volunteer events or support groups. They’ll be the person taking on additional responsibilities (even if they’re not qualified), offering unsolicited advice, and focusing on drama rather than the mission.
“Just like any form of narcissism, there is not necessarily one specific cause of communal narcissism,” explains Lyter. “It’s typically very multifaceted, and there are usually several factors that play a role. That includes childhood and family experiences, personality traits and development, cultural and societal influences, psychological needs, and cognitive patterns and distortions.”
Signs and symptoms of communal narcissism
Behaviors may vary by person, but here are some common signs of communal narcissism.
- Having an unrealistic view of your own importance
- Taking all the credit for other people’s work
- A strong need for recognition, admiration, and praise
- Bragging about your helpfulness, generosity, or altruistic behavior
- Engaging in emotional manipulation
- Starting drama or conflict at charitable or work-related events
- Taking advantage of people in communal settings
- Only showing concern for communal needs in public settings
- Pushing certain causes or agendas for your own personal gain
- Giving unsolicited advice
Four tips for dealing with a communal narcissist
If someone in your life is showing signs of communal narcissism or other narcissistic traits, it’s important to understand how to prioritize your mental health and well-being. Here are four tips for dealing with a communal narcissist.
1. Set clear boundaries
It’s not always easy to create and maintain boundaries with narcissists, but setting clear expectations is essential to reducing their ability to cause emotional harm. Here are five tips to help you recognize and avoid manipulative behavior.
- Identify narcissistic traits such as the constant need for admiration, trouble receiving criticism, and lack of genuine empathy
- Create a plan that addresses your concerns with the relationship, potential challenges and obstacles you’ll encounter during the conversation, and any change you’d like to see moving forward
- Make decisions based on your comfort level
- Set clear consequences for breaking boundaries
- Create realistic expectations for yourself and for the person demonstrating narcissistic tendencies
2. Consider communication patterns
Once you’ve established your boundaries, make a point to clearly communicate them. Being assertive about your needs can help you advocate for yourself and manage difficult interactions with a communal narcissist.
When thinking about communication with a communal narcissist, it’s also important to be mindful that many narcissists use manipulative language to control others and their surroundings. They may use tactics like invalidation, deflection, and flattery to influence conversations and control the narrative. For example, they may say something like, “you’re the only one I can trust and rely on to help with X.”
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3. Practice self-care
Self-care is a simple yet effective tool for anyone who is struggling with tension, stress, or difficult emotions. Next time you notice that someone’s narcissistic behaviors are having a negative impact on your mental well-being, make an effort to engage in activities that help you feel happy and relaxed. For example, taking a walk, writing in your journal, and spending time with good friends are all considered acts of self-care.
4. Follow your intuition
Communal narcissists can sometimes make people feel guilty for not appreciating their help or shame for not being passionate or hard-working enough. If there’s a communal narcissist in your life who’s making you feel this way, listen to your gut on how to move forward. In some cases, it may be best to limit your interactions or reinforce new boundaries that protect your mental well-being.
Treatment for narcissistic personality disorder
It’s important to note that communal narcissism is not currently classified as a subtype of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). “Rather, communal narcissism is a manifestation of narcissistic traits, meaning how the traits may present themselves,” explains Lyter. “Someone with communal narcissism may have an NPD diagnosis, but they also may not meet criteria and instead just have some narcissistic traits,” she says.
That said, talk therapy can help people with communal narcissism better understand their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and group therapy can all be effective treatment methods for people who are interested in managing or overcoming narcissistic tendencies.
How Charlie Health can help
Coping with narcissism or narcissistic abuse can be difficult, but connecting with the right treatment team can help people improve their mental health and quality of life. If this sounds familiar, know that Charlie Health can help.
Charlie Health’s personalized virtual Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) provides mental health treatment for people and families dealing with various mental health struggles, including communal narcissism and co-occurring conditions. Our expert clinicians incorporate evidence-based therapies into individual counseling, family therapy, and group sessions. With this kind of holistic treatment, managing your mental health is possible. Fill out the form below or give us a call to start healing today.