How to Cope With Stress During the Holidays, According to Experts

Learn about how to cope with stress over the holiday season.

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No matter how much you enjoy the holiday season, anyone above the age of, say, 10 (especially adults) can attest that it also comes with stress. You might stress about seeing that difficult cousin, what to get everyone, and wanting your guests and kids to have a good time.

Financial stress can also overshadow the holidays. You might worry about how to afford gifts for everyone, the cost of travel to visit loved ones, and budgeting for everything from decorations to a special family dinner.
“Stress around the holidays can build from expectations in society and family, obligations, and the general business of the season itself,” says Charlie Health Licensed Creative Arts Therapist Courtney Way, MA, LCAT. Read on to learn more about why the holidays can be so stressful, and how to manage that stress in healthy ways.

Most people experience some level of holiday stress, data shows

Holiday stress is very common. Take a 2023 survey conducted by The Harris Poll for the American Psychological Association (APA). Researchers found that 70% of respondents described their stress level as “moderate” or “high” during the holiday season. At the same time, 41% of participants reported that their stress increases when they think about the holiday season compared to the rest of the year.

Stressors named included not having enough money to spend (42%), spending too much (38%), missing people who have passed away or with whom they no longer have a relationship (38%), and feeling pressure to make the holidays special (30%). 

Are you struggling with managing holiday stress? Is your mental health suffering from the thought of social events, attending a family gathering, or the financial strain of this time of year? Stress management and an enjoyable holiday season are both very possible. Here’s what you need to know about coping with seasonal stress.

Coping with general holiday stress

Participants in the APA survey reported a mix of positive coping mechanisms, such as talking to those around them (38%), managing their expectations (36%), and prioritizing their well-being (32%). Though 35% of people noted a negative coping mechanism, such as isolating themselves (19%) and changing their eating habits (15%).

Here are some of the healthy coping mechanisms Way and Charlie Health Contemplative Practitioner Tairesha “Sunflower” Flemister, LMSW, recommend.

1. Move one step at a time

You’re not going to be able to accomplish everything you need to do in one day. Break down tasks into manageable subtasks and give yourself time between each thing. Then, when the holidays come, focus on “small, achievable goals” you can accomplish instead of trying to make everything perfect, says Way.

2. Set realistic expectations

Some things might go wrong. Someone might not like your present as much as you hoped. The holidays do not need to be perfect. “Letting go of unrealistic standards can reduce stress and make space for more authentic moments,” says Flemister.

3. Set boundaries

You do not need to do everything or be everywhere. Flemister and Way recommend setting emotional and physical boundaries, such as saying no to social events, leaving when you’re ready, and saving your energy for the people and places you want to give it to.

4. Practice self-care

Don’t forget about yourself. Take opportunities to engage in self-care, and eat and sleep regularly, the experts say. Keeping a routine is especially important if you experience seasonal affective disorder.

5. Ground yourself

Grounding exercises can be as simple as walking around the block when you need some air. You can also try stretching, deep breathing, mindfulness practices, and journaling to “help reset the nervous system when emotions or schedules feel overwhelming,” says Flemister.

6. Talk to loved ones

You are far from the only person experiencing stress at the holidays. Other people will not only understand but be able to relate. “Holiday stress is often increased with the belief that comes around this season that everyone else can enjoy the season effortlessly or with less effort than others, due to the taboo of talking about stress and money in society, coupled with the societal expectations around this season,” says Way. “When we recognize that many people are struggling with anxiety and that it is a regular part of this season, it can create a sense of community, relief, and help others not feel alone.”

In good news, the APA survey found that 71% of recipients were at least somewhat comfortable with discussing their stress with loved ones.

How to cope with holiday financial stress

There’s general holiday stress, and then there’s financial holiday stress. Between meals, travel, and presents, there are so many expectations for spending money over the holidays. But that doesn’t have to be the case. It’s possible to enjoy the holiday season on a budget — and minus a lot of stress.  

1. Set a realistic budget

Decide how much you’re willing to spend on everything from presents to travel. As Flemister puts it, “Knowing your limits ahead of time prevents last-minute spending that leads to regret or anxiety.”

2. Communicate with loved ones

The people in your life shouldn’t be in it to get gifts or fancy meals. The holidays are about spending quality time with and caring about each other. Talk to the people in your life about budgets and making an enjoyable experience that doesn’t drain your bank account. You can also discuss different gifting ideas, like handmade presents, writing letters, planned experiences, and more meaningful things that won’t cost you much, says Flemister.

3. Avoid comparison

Nothing good can come from looking at what other people are doing or buying around the holiday season. Try not to let comparison rob you of enjoying your time. “Though it may not feel like it, it is essential to create a holiday season that feels manageable or sustainable for you, even if that looks different from what society, social media, cultural expectations, or tradition dictate,” says Way. “By creating something that feels sustainable and manageable for you, it can help create a season that feels more authentic, less pressured, and less stressful.”

How Charlie Health can help

If you or a loved one is struggling with managing stress during the holidays, Charlie Health is here to help. Charlie Health’s virtual Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) provides more than once-weekly mental health treatment for dealing with serious mental health conditions, including depression, anxiety, and conditions related to holiday stress. Our expert clinicians incorporate evidence-based therapies into individual counseling, family therapy, and group sessions. With treatment, managing your well-being is possible. Fill out the form below or give us a call to start healing today.