How to Cope With Irritability, According to Therapists

Expert-approved tips for reducing irritability.

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There are some days and weeks — or even longer — where it’s hard not to wonder: “Why am I so angry and irritable all the time?” Chronic irritability might have snuck up on you and made you feel like everything you do is through this lens. It might come alongside thoughts such as, “Why am I so irritable around my family?” While there might be something specific bothering you, there are many reasons you might be in an irritable mood more often.

“Irritability is often a result of feeling stressed or overwhelmed, rather than something that should be seen as a flaw,” says Charlie Health Licensed Creative Arts Therapist, Courtney Way, MA, LCAT. “Often, feelings of anger and irritability show up when our brain and body are trying to protect us from something or to help us notice something happening within ourselves.” Read on to learn more from experts about what causes irritability and how to manage the feeling.

Why am I so irritable?

There are so many things that can contribute to chronic irritability. As Charlie Health Group Facilitator Bree Williams, LPCA, explains, “Irritability is often a sign that the nervous system is overwhelmed or overstimulated.”

According to Charlie Health Contemplative Practitioner Tairesha “Sunflower” Flemister, LMSW, irritability can occur due to:

• Chronic stress or burnout
• Poor sleep
• Hunger or blood sugar changes
• Hormonal shifts
• Trauma or unresolved emotional pain
• Lack of downtime

What mental health disorders can cause irritability?

Living with a mental health condition is also a common cause of irritability symptoms. According to Williams, a range of mental health disorders can also contribute to persistent irritability, including:

• Depression, which can present as anger or frustration, particularly in adults
• Anxiety disorders, which can bring short tempers and constant tension, while someone stays hypervigilant
• Bipolar disorder, which can cause irritability within manic, hypomanic, or depressive episodes
• Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), which can cause irritability through difficulty with emotional regulation
• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and other trauma-related disorders, which can produce irritability in response to stress

As Flemister puts it, remaining in fight, flight, fawn, or freeze mode can reduce a person’s “patience and emotional flexibility.”

How to cope with constant irritability

You don’t have to live with severe irritability and angry feelings. There are coping mechanisms available for dealing with persistent irritability. “Learning to listen to irritability with curiosity rather than shame allows people to respond more intentionally, strengthen relationships, and build emotional resilience,” says Williams. “With the right tools and support, irritability can shift from a constant frustration into a valuable cue for self-care and growth.”

1. Think of irritability as a signal

You will almost inevitably feel irritable if your basic needs aren’t being met, says Williams. Are you getting enough sleep? Have you drunk enough water or eaten recently? Notice what might be lacking from your needs and see how it’s affecting you. From there, think about what triggers your anger or irritability and why, says Way.

2. Try grounding practices

Taking time for emotional regulation can help reduce your irritable mood. As Williams and Flemister suggest, engage in breathing practices to calm the mind and body, leave spaces that are overstimulating you, and take time to release tension through walks, stretches, or other exercises.

3. Create a routine

Getting consistent, quality sleep and eating healthy, regular meals can go a long way toward reducing your irritability, says Way. As much as you can, create a routine that allows you to take care of yourself and get proper rest.

4. Set boundaries

Have you often thought, “Why am I so irritable and want to be alone?” You might really need some space and alone time, which requires boundaries. As Williams puts it, “ Sometimes irritability is the body’s way of signaling that boundaries have been crossed or that emotional needs are being ignored.” Think about what you’re saying yes to or allowing into your life that you don’t want. Reducing commitment can provide space to rest and limit feelings of irritability.

5. Find healthy stress outlets

Yes, getting a drink with friends can feel like a relaxing way to wind down after a long, hard day at work or school. But finding healthy outlets for your stress, such as exercise, journaling, and creative expression, can help minimize irritation.

6. Try therapy

It can be challenging not only to identify what is making you irritable but also to deal with it on your own. Therapy, whether individual or group, can provide tremendous support as you navigate this. “Therapy can also help uncover emotional patterns and teach regulation skills that prevent irritability from escalating into conflict or guilt,” says Williams.

How Charlie Health can help

No one wants to spend their life in an irritable mood. At Charlie Health, we offer a virtual Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) with certified mental health professionals ready to support you. They understand that severe irritability can stem from a range of factors, including mental health conditions like anxiety disorders, depressive disorder, and bipolar disorder. They can support you in identifying underlying causes, learning anger management techniques, and creating a sustainable routine that doesn’t overwhelm you. Fill out the form below or give us a call to start healing today.